Every night it is the same. My body decides that it wants to allow the daily routine of pain to occur. Some days it is not so bad, but every day is bad.
First the hands begin to feel tingly and slightly painful followed by the feet. Then the pain travels up the legs and up around the shoulders until it encompasses my entire body. It is a constant vibrating pain as if I were burning.
Occasionally I will experience a sharp jab of pain that causes me to yell out. It becomes so intense that I must remove all of my clothing and stop air from circulating around me so that I can find some sense of peace--it never comes. The pain lasts all night and most days.
I am used to feeling pain. In fact, as I type, I feel the pains in each of my fingers and my hand. It is enough to make life seem less important. It is enough to sap all hope and will to try more. It is enough to destroy ambition. The pain interferes with work and school. It interferes with family and marriage. It can be the source of so much emotional trauma for family members.
Each day I notice a few of the things that I did before become more difficult to do because the disease of diabetic neuropathy.
Diabetes
Diabetic Neuropathy means damage to the nerve endings caused by excessive high blood sugar levels due to diabetes. It is important to understand diabetes to understand diabetic neuropathy.
Diabetes is a disease caused by the pancreas not producing insulin, not producing enough insulin or cells in the body becoming insulin resistant.
Diabetes is a manageable disorder if strict adherence to glucose or sugar levels in the blood are maintained--between 80 and 120 mg. This is done by diet and exercise, medications, machine monitoring of glucose levels and a regular doctors visit to assess help.
Diabetes is a progressive disease that slowly damages the body over years. After 10 years of successful management of the disease, complication from having diabetes will arise generally between the tenth and twentieth years. Whether the glucose sugar levels are high or normal this will occur, but the severity of the complications developed depend on how well diabetics manage health.
I did not manage my health well at all when I was diagnosed one month after returning from my mission in the South Africa Cape Town mission December of 2000. I had been having symptoms since the last few months of my mission, but I did not know it. My missionary companion may have saved my life, Burkley Probst, because he insisted that we eat healthily. I had gained almost one hundred pounds on my mission. I was not actively exercising as a missionary and I would eat mountains of food.
Burkley Probst
Burkley would make us walk to places rather than drive each time and eat right. By the time he came along, it was too late for my health. One of the signs of having diabetes is frequent urination.
I remember when that started. My companion, Burkley and I were at a Born Again Christian's home in the middle of a prayer. The man would not stop praying and I was sweating bullets because I could not hold my urine! I bolted from the prayer circle when amen was said! I had to urinate just 30 minutes later thinking that whatever my companion had given me that day caused this sudden problem.
The plane ride to the United states was gruesome for me because I had to go to the restroom every 30 minutes for 12 hours! I sat in the window seat!
When I was at home, my mother, also a diabetic, took me to get tested and I thought my life was over. I at least knew what was wrong with me.
Dealing with the Pain
The pain is not an easy thing to deal with, even though I have suffered with it since 2008 when I was diagnosed with it after a trip to the emergency room and a consultation with a neurologist. I kept asking for morphine. It was right after Thanksgiving. I had come off of my four month diet plan to eat traditional Thanksgiving food. I had been doing P90X and my results were great. Going off the diet was not.
Following that episode in the hospital, my health steadily declined over the months until I came crashing down August of of 2010. My body completely betrayed me. I could no longer run or walk for long distances. I could no longer exercise. I could do none of the things I had done before.
Neuropathy had already started giving me pain, but now it cripples me. I can barely stand for any person to touch me sometimes. On top of that progressive pain, in 2010 my daughter passed away in a terrible manner and I had to quit my job because I could not perform it anymore.
The pain and depression really set in and that has been my lot since then--a round of pain here, depression there and endurance everywhere. Every sense is heightened and emotions run raw because of the constant pain. Hypertension increases because of pain. The immune system is taxed and stress levels run high because of the constant pain over all the skin. This is besides the other symptoms associated with other complications.
Each day I must rely on my faith to help me avoid lashing out at my family, which does not work everyday. I constantly need to remind my kids that they cannot jump on Daddy because I hurt.
I have to allow my wife to know when I can be touched because randomly showing me affection is not an option because I could be in pain. For years she was the only person to know about my pain until my health became serious in 2010.
Neuropathy not just in the feet
Neuropathy does not just occur in the feet. It can occur all over the body as it does with me. The nervous system basically starts to malfunction, similar to Fibromyalgia. The constantly overactive nervous system pain causes the most problems. Any person dealing with nerve pain alone has a difficult daily life, especially when medicines like Cymbalta only work partially to relieve the systems--I would rather have it than nothing at all. That is a whole other level of hell!
Cymbalta helps with the nerve pain and depression. Depression is a common companion for people dealing with chronic pain and health conditions. If you are accustomed to being the breadwinner and can no longer do so because of circumstance beyond your control like I am, life can be really hard to accept. It is important to be aware of your feelings and what is the root of negative feelings to avoid undue mental anguish. Because I know that I am prone to depression because of my health, I take steps to avoid slipping into depression bouts for long periods of time. It is a constant battle and I am not always successful.
Neuropathy, A small foot injury can cause a big hospital trip.
I went into the hospital because my blood pressure was 264/190 and my glucose levels were above 400 levels. The averages respectively are 120/80 and 80 to 120. I was on the verge of a stroke and a diabetic coma! I had gone to the emergency room by referral from the urgent care because of a swollen leg and foot. Apparently, due to my lack of feeling in certain parts of my foot, I had injured myself somehow.
Three days it took to get my blood pressure and glucose level under control, while I took morphine for pain--caused by my swollen leg. Each time in the past that I went to the hospital, no doctor would listen to me if my blood glucose levels were high because I am a diabetic.
They assumed that I ate irresponsibly. This time, I told them that my leg is swollen and painful, which is causing me to have high blood pressure. The pain prevents me from wanting to eat so I starve and my liver dumps sugar in my blood. No one would listen. It looked like I was about to be discharged once morphine took away the pain the insulin regulated my glucose levels enough for me to eat.I prayed all night that the nurse and doctors would notice my leg and foot, which I kept pointing out to them.
My wife called the nurses' station that very night and explained to the nurse to look at my foot. She did and saw nothing, but she felt impressed to call a wound nurse. The wound nurse saw a small dot on my foot and called the doctors. Four doctors saw my swollen foot and leg and three did not want to act while one adamantly suggested surgery.Three days these four doctors debated whether or not I should have an operation on my foot.
Three days I was made to lie in a hospital bed praying for something to be found wrong with me! I felt the pain and used the morphine. I knew something was wrong. I have the unfortunate face and body type that no one can look upon me and tell that I am ill. I look healthy no matter what I feel!
The doctors met on the third day discussing my situation. Two were against cutting into my flesh because it did not look like I needed it and all the tests and scans returned negative for a problem. Two thought something needed to be done other than elevating my foot. One of the two told the other three that he believes I had an infection that could be going towards the bone!.
Another day passed with the team of doctors in disagreement. I prayed more. One doctor, the one who knew that I had an infection, went to my room alone and asked me to sign a consent form to operate. He could not convince the other two anything was wrong because nothing showed on any test, but he was sure that he could see an infection--being that it was his specialty. The surgeon would not cut, so he decided he would. I gave him my consent and he cut open my flesh.
Out came a confluence of fluids that confirmed his suspicion. He had the nurse take pictures of the infection hidden behind my skin and removed the necrosis from my body.God answered my prayer by inspiring this doctor, Dr. Nwafor, to look beyond the machines and test and trust and impression.
God helped him find the problem so that he, God, could heal my disease. I spent the next month in a nursing home getting intravenous antibiotics. It was a strange experience being that I am so young to live in a nursing home, but God heard my prayer and gave me what I needed. And he did it for the entire month of September 2012 to the beginning of October 2012. The story with my foot does not end but continues through to 2014, but that's another article.
For information about Diabetes and how to increase awareness...
American Diabetes Association Home Page - American Diabetes Association
The American Diabetes Association is leading the fight against the deadly consequences of diabetes and fighting for those affected by diabetes.
Be Aware
Make sure if you have diabetes in your family tree that you take notice of your eating habits. You do not have to become a vegan, but you must eat a balanced healthy diet to avoid the early onset of diabetes.
Most people get diabetes in old age.
For
Native Americans,
Blacks
and Hispanics,
the rate of diabetes in younger people is exceptionally high.
Minorities are more likely to have the disease and must be aware of the genetic disposition. Native Americans are more susceptible than any other group.
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